Friday, 14 October 2011

Outfit post + a bit more about me...

Cardigan- Topshop
Shirt- Trift
Belt- homemade
Leggings- Primark
Boots- Ebay

Necklace- Ebay

Okay, so I have to be honest, this is from last week *bad blogger* I'm really not loving this outfit, I like the shirt, but the whole outfit together...I'm just not feeling it. It make's me look far chubbier than I'm comfortable with, but then, I guess it could just be these pictures.

If you read my very first post then you'll know I had/have an eating disorder, I say have because I don't believe you ever really, fully recover once you've been there. Up till now I haven't said too much about it for lots of reasons, mainly I don't want this to be triggering, and also this is not what the blogs about, I want it to be a body positive place, so this may be the first and last time.
As you can probably tell I'm having a bit of a tough time at the moment, It's always hard at times, of that I'll make no secret. Having an eating disorder is one of the most horrible things I've ever been though, and putting on the weight I have, to recover physically (this time last September I was 6st), was horrible, traumatising and upsetting, and incredibly hard to do, I can't truly articulate the feelings that go with it, other than to say that it was emotionally painful.

But I must try to remember why I made my self recover, I need to remember the bad things; constantly being cold and irritable, tired, weak and dizzy, I was covered in bruises from my bones knocking together. I remember lying in bed, just thinking I was going to die. Worst of all is the permanent damage I've done to my body.
It will always be in my head, but I literally have to just ignore it, I must. I must try to disconnect my self worth from my weight, when I can finally and compleatly do that I will have recovered, and that is my goal. It may take forever, but it is worth striving for. The past seven years of my life have been consumed by this, and I won't let it take any more, I need to be more than my eating disorder, and to have a life without it.
It's a working progress, but I will make it.

Apologies if this post has been a bit heavy, for want of a better word, or in keeping with the rest of the blog promise I'll be back with the status quo in the next post! I will point out that I am actually okay, I'm just having a bit of a slip, but that happens from time to time, it probably all sounds a bit loony if you haven't been there yourself, so other wise just ignore me, no need to call the men in white coats just yet!


  1. cute!! i love and want your cardi and necklace!! (:. and thanks for stopping by my blog!


  2. You're doing great! You have a really positive attitude about overcoming your eating disorder, and that is KEY. Great job:)

    And I LOVE that cardi! You look super comfy and chic, in my opinion! That cardigan is lovely! AND THAT NECKLACE!!! OH love.
    Hope you have a happy weekend!
    ♥ laura

    the blog of worldly delights

  3. Sara, I have been glad you've found and supported my blog. I truly appreciate your kindness. This said, I am concerned for you and wish you the best with whatever issues concern you regarding this eating disorder.

    This outfit is definitely comfortable and warm. Nice job styling everything.

  4. I'm so sorry to hear that you've been having a difficult time of it recently. Stay strong, and know that you have at least one person rooting for you in far away Seattle.

  5. Firstly, thank you all for commenting, it's can be an intimidating subject to broach. Your words of support and encouragement are truly appreciated, and do help a great deal, so thank you. x

  6. I respect you for how well you've done and how you can talk about it. Hope your feeling better again soon xxx

  7. Love that shirt !
    I think you are really brave discussing your issues !
    We all have tough things to go through in life and hope things do get better :)
    I know with my own personal issues time does help :)
    Always here for support
    Launa x

  8. I admire you so much for writing this on your blog, and telling people. Because you're not alone, and people will come to you for help and advice! Well done sweetie!
    Keep going, the only way is up now!
    I also love your shirt by the way, gorgeous and perfect for winter! xx

  9. How awesome is your hair! Cute shirt too :)

  10. what a fantastic necklace! i absolutely love how it goes with the rest of the outfit. yes, and you do have gorgeous hair. you have a lovely blog--enjoyed browsing through your various posts, and i am your new follower. (via bloglovin' and google connect!) hope we can stay connected and share inspirations. :) cheers, and have a great day!


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